When You Wish You Could, But You Can’t
Today’s blog is a little pep talk to myself … and to YOU. (And – it’s #19 in the blog-a-weekday commitment. Woo Hoo, one more to go!)
How many things do you wish you could do… but you’re currently resigned to the fact that you just can’t.
There’s not enough money, there’s not enough time, you have other, more important, responsibilities.
If you’re like most of us, that’s a long-ass list! Both of them—the wished-for experiences and the reasons why they’re just not possible. At least not now.
I mean, you’ve got to make a living, right? There’s people who need your care, there’s chores and errands to take care of. There’s all those meetings and parties you’ve committed to attend.
So, other aspirations, those dreams small and large get put in the ‘someday’ pile.
You know, for when things calm down. When you get that raise, when the business starts bringing in the big bucks, when you retire, when the kids get out of college….
Um… Hi there?! Guess what?
It ain’t never gonna calm down.
Once the kids are gone, there’ll be yet another thing to wait for.
You know this.
“Thanks a lot for making me feel even worse,” you may be saying right now.
But hold on!
This is an invitation to refocus your busy brain for just a few seconds here.
Turn away from that big list of “I wish, someday maybe…”
Turn away from the long-ass litany of reasons for why it’s not now.
Close your eyes for a moment and allow just ONE of the longed for activities or experiences to pop up in your mind. Ideally, go for something simpler, one that doesn’t have a huge amount of baggage around it.
For example, instead of the round-the-world trip, choose the backpacking weekend.
Just go with the first thing that comes.
Then, let in the phrase, ‘What if…?’
Wait… NO! I know your mind is jumping in, wanting to derail this thing.
Hang in for a minute, and just allow some wonder:
What if you CAN do it now?, Or, what if you CAN set a plan in motion for this to materialize in your 3-D reality by a specified date?
No need to actually make the plan, the point here is to begin to loosen that stuck program in your brain. Simply by considering the the words, ‘What If…’ you may open the space for new solutions or brilliant ideas to pop in.
I’ve been playing with this for many different set-in-stone programs in my own brain.
For instance: Although I really want to learn Spanish, it simply has not seemed possible for me to take a class while here in Mexico.
I was here for three and half months last winter, and the only new Spanish I learned was names of foods. (You can see where my priorities are).
I had a lot of ‘valid’ reasons why I didn’t make it to a class. My place was far from town, I was on a shoestring budget…
Now I’m back in Mexico, and since I’m staying there’s even more reason to get conversational.
And still lots of
reasons excuses why I can’t make it happen.
There’s too much work to do, it’s too big a time commitment, after all you have to make some money – that’s how you should be spending your time. It’s ridiculous to spend money for the time you could be making money, yada, yada, yada…
Oh, my brain chatters on.
My old way was to dwell on the frustration of the polarization between what I wanted and what was ‘possible.’ I’d work it this way and that, twisting myself up in knots while doing it.
Result: Feeling trapped, bullied by life, and distinctly not tuned into gratitude and joy.
Now, the “What if” experiment is reaping some rewards for me!
I tried it on this ‘take a class’ dilemma. Here I am in Mexico for God’s sake! I want to learn to speak some rudimentary Spanish to the locals. So I opened up … instead of feeling deprived. And then I let it go (well, mostly).
And… I just ‘happened’ to see an ad for one of the top local Spanish schools offering a huge discount for their 3-week beginner program. I google mapped it and the school ‘just happens’ to be a 7 minute walk from my home. And it just happens to be one of the only programs that is only 3 days per week instead of 5, leaving me time for my other work. And three weeks is a doable amount of time.
The funny thing is, even with all that ease, the old “It just can’t work” program kept trying to pipe in with obstacles.
But… I’m going with the ‘What if’. I start class next week!
Do you have a ‘What If’ you’d like to put out there to see what new ideas or solutions you might attract? Share it in the comments!